A piece of me for the boss, a piece of me for the children, a piece of me for my husband, a piece for the house, a piece for the chores, a piece for the meals. Where am I? Who have I become? Where has my identity gone?
Longing for solitude, for peace and stillness. I dream of quiet, I dream of a small home with a front porch, where I sit and smell the salt ocean.
All the pieces I give away, I give away willingly and I'm happy to do so, but I need a piece for me. Something to claim to grasp onto.
Thursday, June 14, 2012
Sunday, June 3, 2012
I'm currently reading Dare, Dream, Do or is Dream, Dare, Do? Nonetheless, it is inspiring me to take a look at my life. Why have I stopped dreaming? What are my dreams?
I know one dream is to live down South, near the water in a small cottage type home with a front porch and a place to kayak. I have dreamed about this for as long as I can remember, but here I sit in the rainy, cloudy Northeast, why, because I'm afraid. Afraid to upset the apple cart, afraid my husband will be miserable, the boys will never visit me. That we wouldn't find jobs, that we wouldn't make friends, that it would be too hot and humid for my husband. So I shelve the dream, like I've done many other dreams in my life and continue in my day to day existence, happy but still feeling there is an incompleteness to me.
So, once again I'm starting a blog in a attempt to learn to dream a little. There was a time in my life about 14 years ago when I went a little crazy. Had a little fun, put others cares aside and just indulged myself in my whims. I hurt people, I ended up hurting myself. This time perhaps I will find the balance where I can incorporate my dreams into my existing life without hurting people I love.
Task for the week at hand is to start looking at states down South that we can visit in the next year or so. Talking about my dream a little more, sharing it with others, giving it wings.
I know one dream is to live down South, near the water in a small cottage type home with a front porch and a place to kayak. I have dreamed about this for as long as I can remember, but here I sit in the rainy, cloudy Northeast, why, because I'm afraid. Afraid to upset the apple cart, afraid my husband will be miserable, the boys will never visit me. That we wouldn't find jobs, that we wouldn't make friends, that it would be too hot and humid for my husband. So I shelve the dream, like I've done many other dreams in my life and continue in my day to day existence, happy but still feeling there is an incompleteness to me.
So, once again I'm starting a blog in a attempt to learn to dream a little. There was a time in my life about 14 years ago when I went a little crazy. Had a little fun, put others cares aside and just indulged myself in my whims. I hurt people, I ended up hurting myself. This time perhaps I will find the balance where I can incorporate my dreams into my existing life without hurting people I love.
Task for the week at hand is to start looking at states down South that we can visit in the next year or so. Talking about my dream a little more, sharing it with others, giving it wings.
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